Tim Goldsmith

“Why does this strange phenomenon occur? What causes it? O Lord in your mercy give me light to see, for it may be that the answer to my question lies in the secret punishment of man and in the penitence which casts a deep shadow on the sons of Adam. Why does this strange phenomenon occur? What causes it? The mind gives an order to the body and is at once obeyed, but when it gives an order to itself, it is resisted. The mind commands the hand to move and is so readily obeyed that the order can scarcely be distinguished from its execution. Yet the mind is mind and the hand is part of the body. But when the mind commands the mind to make an act of will, these two are one and the same and yet the order is not obeyed. Why does this happen? What is the cause of it? The mind orders itself to make an act of will, and it would not give this order unless it willed to do so; yet it does not carry out its own command. But it does not fully will to do this thing and therefore its orders are not fully given. It gives the order only in so far as it wills, and in so far as it does not will the order is not carried out. For the will commands that an act of will should be made, and it gives this command to itself, not to some other will. The reason, then, why the command is not obeyed is that it is not given with the full will. For if the will were full, it would not command itself to be full, since it would be so already. It is therefore no strange phenomenon partly to will to do something and partly to will not to do it. It is a disease of the mind, which does not wholly rise to the heights where it is lifted by the truth, because it is weighed down by habit. So there are two wills in us, because neither by itself is the whole will, and each possesses what the other lacks.” → Saint Augustine “the Confessions” Book VIII. Chapter 9. My favourite line is “[the mind] does not wholly rise to the heights where it is lifted by the truth, because it is weighed down by habit“

If that doesn’t describe my struggles to study and learn, I don’t know what does.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, there is my sister. She’s fun, she’s funny, she’s a mother, a friend, and now a graduate! Amy, you see, is becoming me…. but a little bit better than me. It’s lucky that I’m no longer practicing my trade as a Library Technician, cause I wouldn’t want to be bossed around my my Librarian sister! Congrats Amy! (Heapy, I hope you don’t mind that I pilfered your picture….)

Sometimes you write about “How different views of the Millennium express themselves politically”, and sometimes… well… you make a snakes and ladders game with a mate that also manages to teach a Biblical Theology of Mission to primary aged kids! Sometimes I really love this college. The game Dan & I created has a case. That case has a cover. The cover has this picture on it. Of course, we are not supposed to identify ourselves in our essays, so we stick bits of paper over our eyes with our student numbers on them. Surely they wont be able to work it out will they?

I want to take more portraits. I’d love to do a class sometime. I wish I had more time & more willing subjects. Thank God for young kids & care free Canadians! JTB. She has been a willing (and beautiful) subject from day 1! (OK, about day 140 something, cause I was busy breaking my leg on a US summer camp when she was born). Dylan. Canadian? Yes. Hobo? I suspect either he was or he will be! But we love him anyway.

Is this the Bunny or the Bethy? More things to write about & less time to do it. This is why I want to change this site as soon as I have a spare moment & turn it into a photosite! Easter was great. A couple of church services & then off to the Hunter with Shona. The whole family was there! Phil, Kristin & Charlotte. Amy, Andrew, Joss, Tobes & Bethy! I am not sure, but I think the parents may have been more excited about all the chocolate than the kids!!! Well, another pic or two for you, & I’m off to bed. Charlotte had a vice-like grip on her little bucket of eggs! It was awesome to have the whole family together!

I’m not on top of everything yet. I can’t yet sit down & write about something meaningful. I can, however, post a couple of photos. Firstly, Simon, a guy from Dan’s “Buck’s night”, and secondly, Dan & Dave. I would note though, that despite their look, Dan & Dave were both very happy about Dan having just got married! I just think they look like good cop & bad cop together, so I always get them to do this pose! Night night kids. Two posts in two days! You are lucky!!!!!

(I’ve been told the big cloud looks a little like a giant bunny crossing the sky! Hoping you’ll get some eggs, boys and girls?) I have a lot to say, but I don’t currently have the time to say it. A week away in Wee Waa was both fun and challenging. Debrief to follow. Today Dan & Harriet get married! Debrief to follow. Wedding plans coming along. Debrief to follow. I got to catch up with some Uncles & Aunts in Coonamble! Debrief to follow. Easter this weekend. That means time in the Hunter with the family (after having discharged my church responsibilities). Debrief to follow. Will I get to them all? We’ll just have to wait & see!